i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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