you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize