Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize