I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
