Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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