We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
