This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
