So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
