I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
