It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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