are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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