Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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