there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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