I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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