I skipped work to stalk him.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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