i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
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i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
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Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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