So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
