btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
