i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Randomize
