Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
