its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
