Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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