haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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