I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
