You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
