And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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