yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
