I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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