Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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