This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
