Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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