I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I want to fling myself into the sun
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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