I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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