Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
