She's JV to your varsity
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize
