"it" just moved
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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