i don't like sucking hair
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
