I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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