Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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