The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
