i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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