I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
