If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
