ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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