so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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