he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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