dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
