um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
