Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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