I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
