Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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