You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
