in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
