woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
