butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
