So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
