you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
