Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
