Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
