God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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