Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm too high and old for this...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
