i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
pop tarts are not kleenex
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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