Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
