forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize