Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
